Mark Ari won the World Figure Skating Championship in 1993, a remarkable comeback after his 1936 Olympic Bronze (Long Jump) in Berlin. He is the inventor of the spring-mounted jumping frog, blow dart mouth wash “for the other guy,” edible cowboy boots, and the windproof perforated umbrella. He has kissed the belly of Maharani Gayatri Devi, and he learned the art of ventriloquized chuckling while sojourning with an offshoot branch of Mandaean nomads.
Ari has made cheese with mosquito netting. He is currently the world record holder for extended, wake-initiated lucid dreaming, and he has listed, in ink,1,346 things that can be done with a spoon.. He does not eat butter beans.

Bio (alternative)

When Mark Ari unlocked his mother’s womb, he fell to soft vinyl where he lived under another name and the kitchen table. Women with round faces bent down to pinch his cheeks. Grandpa made Egyptian poses on the landing at the top of the stairs, nodding and winking and making a great show of brushing back invisible hair with his fingers. Mother opened her mouth and sighed: ah-ah-ah-ah.

By the time the leaves on the trees were dry and beautiful—orange and cream and chocolate—he planted his feet, and the world got littler. He did not notice. Then he did, and when he did, he could read French and Spanish but spoke only a stutter of English. So, he made shapes with his lips and stenciled words on the air. This has made all the difference

Bio at the University of North Florida


contact: mari@unf.edu